i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
