My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
