so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
