Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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