he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
