i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
