She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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