My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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