There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
