Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my being single is dangerous.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
