like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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