Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
