I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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