he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
