I showed him my bush... on skype.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
