the condom got lost in my hair
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
