How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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