I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize