i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
