It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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