Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
