she was so not down for the gang bang
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
