i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
