Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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