i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize