im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
