We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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