hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
