between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
