Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We need to rekindle our bromance
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
