like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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