Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
