So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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