In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have fence marks all over my body
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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