Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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