Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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