That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize