Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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