I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
