"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
