so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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