"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
