sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize