Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
