Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's blow job season.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
