i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize