Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
