If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize