I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
