Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
