Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize