he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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