So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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