i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize