i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So many bounce houses so little time
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
