This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
