And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
