Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
