Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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