Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
