just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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