I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
