why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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