Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
