She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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