I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just cropdusted the office
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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